


Christmas Without Him

by averywrites



Series: breaking hearts one minor character at a time [2]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Suicide, this is so sad i cried about 5 times writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 19:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averywrites/pseuds/averywrites
Summary: Prompt: Person A runs downstairs on Christmas morning yelling for Person B to get up, only to remember their recent death and that they wont be joining them for Christmas this year.





	Christmas Without Him

**Author's Note:**

> warning for death and suicide in case you didnt read the tags!

Buttons was excited for Christmas. It was Jojo’s favorite holiday, so it became one of his too after they started dating. He woke up early and immediately jumped out of bed so he could wake up Jojo on the bunk above him.

“Jojo! Jojo wake up it's Christmas!” Buttons exclaimed. He looked up to remember Jojo wasn’t there. He had died from his injuries in the refuge because Buttons couldn’t save him. Jojo wouldn't be there for Christmas this year, or the next year, or any year after that. Upon realizing this, Buttons immediately started shaking, letting out a choked sob before remembering the other boys in the lodging house. He did his best to stifle his sobs as he fell to the floor.

As the other newsies woke up, they looked at Buttons sadly, some of them crying as well when they glanced at the empty top bunk. Henry made his way through the other newsies to Buttons and wrapped his arm around him. Buttons would’ve been surprised by Henry’s calm demeanor, but Henry had been numb ever since they received the news that Jojo died. Neither of them had been the same since.

Both realize they’re not in any shape to sell, they can barely move from their seated positions on the ground. Elmer notices this and offers to cover them for the day, Albert nodding along. Henry thanks them, their one relief for the day. They spend what could be seconds, minutes, or hours on the ground together before Buttons attempts to stand.

“Jojo wouldn’t want us to be sad on Christmas,” Buttons said, his voice cracking on Jojo’s name. 

“You’re right. He’d want us to be happy on his favorite holiday,” Henry agreed. His voice was almost monotone, which only caused Buttons to cry more. He roughly wiped away his tears and grabbed his gift for Henry from under his bunk. 

“I know it’s not much, but I got you this,” Buttons handed Henry a ring that he’d spent months saving up for. 

“It’s beautiful,” Henry gave as close as a smile as he had in months. Buttons beamed, letting more tears fall. Henry reached into his pocket and took out a necklace chain with a cross and a clay pot on it.

“I made this so it’s not that great, but I figured you’d want something to remember us by,” Henry told him. Buttons started shaking again at the sight of the cross.

“Thank you,” Buttons cried as he hugged Henry again. Henry put the necklace on Buttons, getting tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall. 

“We should go to that church Jojo dragged us to every year. The one with the nuns he liked,” Buttons said.

“Yeah, sure,” Henry agreed. Buttons did his best to overlook the bland tone and lead the way to the church. Three of the nuns immediately welcomed them in, they had been expecting Henry, Jojo, and Buttons. 

“Welcome! Where’s your friend, Jojo?” one of the nuns asked. Buttons’s face dropped and tears began spilling down his face.

“He...he was beaten up real bad in the refuge. The doctor couldn’t save him,” Henry informed the nuns, his voice wobbling. Immediately, the three nuns looked disheartened. One of them started crying. 

”He was such a good kid. He deserved so much more,” one of the nuns said. Buttons and Henry sit in one of the pews and pray for the first time without Jojo. Unbeknownst to each other, they both prayed for the same thing. Jojo.

Once they were done, they said goodbye to the nuns and walked back to the lodging house. Selling time was over, and many of the newsies had returned to the lodging house by now. Neither boy was up for conversation, so they ignored the pitying looks and opted to cuddle each other in Jojo’s bunk while Buttons cried. They fell asleep in each other's arms soon after. 

_ A few years later… _

Buttons woke up early. Of course he did, it was Christmas. He excitedly rolled over in bed to wake his boyfriend up.

“Henry! Wake up! It's Christmas!” Buttons exclaimed. He patted the space next to him, finding nothing there. It all came crashing down on him again. Henry was gone. His body wracked with heartbroken sobs. On the anniversary of Jojo’s death, Buttons woke up alone. There had been a note on the bedside table. Henry had killed himself. Buttons searched the city all day hoping to find him. Buttons couldn’t save him. 

After spending his morning sobbing in bed debilitated with pain, he opened the bedside drawer and took out the ring he had planned to propose to Henry with. There was no possibility of legal marriage, they couldn’t even go outside holding hands, but it was the thought that counted. Buttons put the ring in his pocket and walked out to their kitchen. His kitchen, no matter how wrong that felt to say. 

Buttons attempted to cook a Henry-worthy breakfast, but he was shaking so hard he couldn’t hold a spoon. This caused Buttons to once again begin crying, sliding down to the floor and holding himself together best he could, wishing he had someone there. He rubbed his fingers over the necklace Henry had given him a few years ago, finally understanding what he’d meant when he’d said ‘remember us’. 

Once he gathered himself off the floor, Buttons walked to Jojo’s favorite church just as he had the years before. The nuns welcomed him, faces falling when they noticed he was alone this year. They chose not to bring it up. Buttons kneeled down and prayed. This time he prayed for not only Jojo but also Henry. He apologized for not saving them, hoping they could somehow hear him. 

Buttons left the church, saying goodbye to the nuns for what he knew was the last time. He strolled around town stopping at the tallest building he could find. The climb up the fire escape was oddly calming, granting him a numbness he never felt, a numbness Henry had felt too much of. He took his time walking to the edge. Buttons stared off the edge of the building. 

Buttons couldn’t save himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> i would say im sorry but...no im not im pretty proud of how this turned out comment your thoughts!


End file.
